Like A Bridge Over Troubled Emotions
A year has come and gone. Here we are, with our emotions on the table. Reflecting what has come and gone. The moments that made us. The people that gave us a reason. We made it.
However, we all need to look at what is most crucial before we look at a brand-new journey around the sun. Our emotions. I always feel that our emotions right now tell us a mountain of information on our own progress as a person. Glancing at my own feelings and emotions about myself, tell me that there is still a great trek ahead of me, but I have learnt a lot more about me than I had a year ago. Handling these emotions is another process. I feel content but I also feel confusion. The puzzled nature of my emotions come from my own confrontation of fears. My mood of being content is a mirror image of how I feel about my progress but my fears are a bi-product that has transpired from my walk towards happiness.
How far will I go? Where will all this go? What will the new year bring? Is pain around the corner? Is happiness just a leap away? My fear is also a sly devil in the form of anxiety. I have been dwelling in my anxiety for most parts of December and I still find it hard to understand how it comes and goes. It’s human, we all know this. Our brain is conditioned to put everything under a microscope even when it is not necessary. It is even tough for me being a very avid thinker to support my creative flow and keep the waters of ideation always streaming through my brain. I have to look at all the possibilities of “What ifs?”.
The creativity and creation of my skills have lead me down some interesting paths over the year and taught me everything can be perfect as far as we want it to be. You might say that is “perfectionism”, but hear me out. I am not referring to that. Imagine a mold of clay in your hands, which you can shape into anything you want. We might punch it, stretch it, slap it, poke it and roll it to create the best version of what we want it to be. But we still have an option of smashing it back to a ball of clay to create something different. We can even take the chippings of clay that we removed as they can still at value. My venture in pottery taught me this. You always have an option of starting over until you get exactly what you envisioned for yourself. When it’s done we can see it shine after being put through the fire as nothing can break it.
That being said, we still need to handle our creation with care as it will forever be fragile and we need to choose the right people who we trust to handle it. People will never be the person who they portray themselves to be until you provide them with the responsibility of something that matters to you the most.
It’s best to sketch the truth that you see rather than what you want to see. Strokes, curves, shadings and linings present what you have see. The truth will never be perfect, it does not mean its dishonest. We need to understand the truth and see if this is the truth we want to associate ourselves and can we be content with it, present and future. I am still trying to figure this out. Sketching nudism has made me see how much we see and how much we understand. It’s exhausting, I know. But, it has helped me realize that I need to accept my true feelings of what I hear and see and express it the best way I can. It may not be a Picasso but then again even he couldn’t really elaborate his art without explaining what it is underneath.
I will always be grateful for what this year has shown me and helping me understand what I need to keep doing to get to where I want to go. The shelter in paradise. The places where my happiness will thrive. It’s everywhere and anywhere my heart desires and my mind feels at peace. The challenges to come will only confirm that I am doing my best and that’s the best we can do to build that bridge over our troubled emotions.
